Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
