ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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