Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The maid of honor just puked.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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