My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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