Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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