Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
