Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
