i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
