so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
