I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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