So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
