were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
