Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize