fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
