okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
