Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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