You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
