You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
