she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
