oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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