I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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