I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
