She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
