I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
