this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
