some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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