I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
