Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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