yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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