I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
