I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize