:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
