who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
