What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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