glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize
