ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
soo... how was my night?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
