recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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