you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
