I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
