he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
