apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
