Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
