operation have a gay friend backfired
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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