i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
