I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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