I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
