She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
