dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
