Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
