Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she smelled like a LAN party
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
