HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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