So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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