Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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