i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
