butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
