there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
