did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
high people should be assigned attendants
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Can I color on your dick again?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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