Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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