If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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