I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
