I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
