last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
