Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize