I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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