we're blogging at a bar
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
this boner is exhausting
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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