I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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