Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
