So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
...so i touched it.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
