WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
