I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
