is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
