she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
