He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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