I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize