this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
birth control should be required to get into college
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
