and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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