she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
