All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
