What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
