He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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