does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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