My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
