I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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