just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
