Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
